Tag Archives: reflection

Home Is Where You Let It Be

(Entry from May 11, 2014)

This morning, I hopped on a train to leave my home forever, and didn’t look back. I realized there was no sense in thinking too much about it. I boarded the train from Track 2 in Vallendar station to Koblenz as I had done so many times during the semester that it all felt routine.

I’ve moved around before, but it was almost always back and forth from the places I called home. Whenever I left, I knew I’d come back eventually. This time was different. I never expected to feel such at home in little quaint Vallendar, but I did. The truth of it never hit me so much as it did tonight, after I settled into my lodging for the night in Stuttgart that I’ll probably never see Vallendar again. And even if I do return, it wouldn’t be the same. I’ll just be passing through.

Something I’ve always struggled with is the saying, “Home is where the heart is.” Can it be more than one place? What if I don’t feel anything for anywhere? Germany made me realize I could do something about this, that I made the mistake of merely adapting to my surroundings, thinking it was enough, and never trying to  belong.   There is a difference. Feeling you belong makes the place home, wherever you are. Otherwise it is just an address, simply where you live. All my life, I’ve been trying to balance out the cultural differences, trying to awkwardly fit in to both. At some point, I knew as hard as I tried, I would always be a mixture of at least two worlds, but I always saw the glass as half-empty and not half-full.

Germany taught me many things, but the most powerful and simplest of one was the great difference a small change of mind can be. I wanted to be European. I wanted to thrive in this new surrounding. I came here with an open heart and mind, freed myself all my emotional baggage upon arrival — and it made all the difference. Germany became home for me because I WANTED it to be.

Part of the reasons to study abroad is the demonstration and experience that one is a global citizen. One must be empathetic towards different cultures and find strength and harmony through those differences, rather than dissonance.

I know I am blessed beyond measure to have three places in the world that I can call Home. Slowly, but surely, I’m emerging from my self-induced dissonance, and truly making an effort to make music out of my eclectic identity.

P.S. I’m coming home (back to Hawaii) on May 20, at which point I will have time to really process my life over the past few months and (hopefully) give a intelligible account.

Another thing I learned/saw in action: All things do happen in some sort of weird, great design; one just needs time to make the connections.

Advertisements

From the Desk: Week 1

Dear Friend,

I hope you are doing well. It’s been so long since I have written, but even longer since I have heard back. I know we’re all busy with other things, but I should have made this a higher priority. And I shall do my best, I promise.

It is currently quite early in the morning here in Germany. As you know, I’m not a morning person. I’ve never been used to waking up before sunrise – though I have seen the sun rise because I barely slept. But right now in Germany, daybreak is so late. The sky only begins to lighten up at 8AM. By 4PM, the sun has already approached the horizon. Small things that I certainly do miss about the island. However, I am grateful for the opportunity to see the sun rise and set beautifully everyday. I have never taken it for granted, and I will miss these things until I experience them again, but I realized that even if I never do–among other things–I will be fine. Life just rolls on, and you do too. A very wise person taught me that, and while I live with it every moment, I know I will never be able thank him enough.

I am going to have such a difficult time leaving this place. At least as far as this welcome week goes, it reminds me of the United States Senate Youth Program, where in one week, I met some of the best, most brilliant young people I ever had (probably will have) the pleasure to. To this day, and I’m sure for long beyond, I will continued to be inspired by these people. Even here in Germany, though the program is not as competitive simply because of its nature, the people here are pretty awesome. Of course, the club, beers, and dance floors brings out our other natures, but hey – I’m finally learning to live a little.
By the way, don’t get jelly, but many people before I came (mostly females, not surprisingly) have made sure I did not forget how lucky I am to be in Germany. By popular demand, I feel obligated to disclose – yes, there are indeed more males at the school, and yes, they are indeed on the whole very good-looking. But I digress.

I was able to successfully register for all the classes I need, thankfully. This was the less stress I’ve ever had to experience when signing up for classes. I think I should study abroad more often, haha. I’m not used to a block schedule, but mainly, I just think I’m not used to spending so little time at school, or in actual classes. The exam schedule is pretty confusing, and the worst thing is all my classes have grades that are 100% based on the exam. Some exams aren’t announced, and even the professor is unsure. That is because WHU (or Germany for that matter) does not believe in the American style of testing immediate after the content is learned. They think delaying the exam and giving students time after the class is over will give them the opportunity to really internalize what was learned. I’m not sure how much I agree with this. We shall see. But I gotta say, having no textbooks beats all of this. I’ll probably spend maybe 50 Euro tops for all the class material, which I simply print out from the copy shop just beyond campus.

 

We spent quite some time exploring the campus and surrounding cities and meeting people. So far we have made traditional German food on our own, tried to re-create a German Christmas market (hot red wine included), went on a mini Rhine boat ride, spent a couple (or even more for some people) nights in house parties and some legit German clubbing, and was forced to walk around and do a scavenger hunt in creatively-designed trash bags across the main parts of Koblenz. (Although, the looks on the passerby faces: priceless.)

In case if you were interested, here is an ongoing album of the pictures in Vallendar, the little town where WHU is located in, so I will be spending most of my time there.

https://www.facebook.com/waisamlao/media_set?set=a.10202868338494302.1073741826.1377198545&type=3

And the time (on January 8) when a group of exchange students all went to Koblenz. You would love that city as well. I think Germany in general, in fact. You should go one day. I know you of all people will truly appreciate the historical significance of many of the regions we’ve been and things we saw. I bet you’ll pick up German in no time!

https://www.facebook.com/waisamlao/media_set?set=a.10202868744984464.1377198545&type=3

I’ve been extremely fortunate. There are many individuals who went out of their way and made my time here so great. The International Relations Office is so helpful and efficient, which is essential in reducing stress. Unlike most people, I was lucky enough to be able to meet my pre-assigned “Tauschie” WHU buddy even before I came to Germany since he actually did his mandatory exchange semester at UH Manoa. He is one of the most polite and friendly people I know, and he gave me such great advice and tips. I felt so bad when he finished his exams at UH so early that I did not expect to meet him yet, so we ended missing each other for like half an hour. But even then, after we met up, he was so very nice. It was great, and I introduced him to my co-workers (who also happen to be great friends of mine) at school, Honestly, I owe him a lot – including a beer for tonight…or last night? this morning? haha.

But by Jove, Europe! You have to go! We went to Cologne today as a MASSIVE group of Tauschies and of course later split up into much smaller groups. It’s a beautiful, colorful, extremely historic city.

Oh, and I figured out how to do postal, so I will be sending out actual letters and postcards soon!

Friend, it’s such a wonderful feeling to really know you’re doing something right, that you’re finally somewhere you thrive in and are meant to be. I’m learning so much about people, my field, Europe, life, and myself everyday.

Thinking of you, and take care!

Always, sincerely, truly,

Wai Sam